Reputation Manager

When I grow up, I want to be a "Reputation Manager" to the rich and famous. Give me Mel Gibson, Tiger Woods, Charlie Sheen, all of them. I want to manage the debacles they created with their actions and words. Let ME manage their atonement.

I would SO rock at it!

First, I would beat each of them with a pinata stick until they really WERE sorry, if only sorry that I was beating them with a pinata stick. I think it is important to be in that penitent place before speaking or taking action.

Secondly, I would introduce them to real public shame. One afternoon spent wearing a sandwich board, parading in a very public place, like a mall. On the front of the board it will say, "I am sorry for ..." followed by whatever idiotic thing they did. The back will simply say, "I will try to be a better person." Five hours, walking the line of shame. No talking, just listening to what people say to or about them. No defense, just ... shame. Silent, silent shame.

Lastly, I would have them, from that point onward, shut the HELL up and simply do better. Easier said than done, I know, but I would have them make amends in some fashion, and then move forward.

If they still want to feel sorry after that, I would make myself available for a weekly Pinata Treatment .... $10 000 per 45m session.

Hey, they are rich & famous, they can afford it. I am not sorry, nor am I ashamed.

Heh.