Spam For Dummies

I find myself insulted by the spam emails I sometimes receive. Look, if you really want to fool me, here are a couple of helpful hints.

1. Spell Check. Really, I am not opening email from "Amazone", nor am I going to be fooled by promises of a "biger" anything. Bad spelling = unprofessional = I am not opening that crap.

2. Okay I don't have a two. It is the atrocious spelling that always seems to give you folks away. No wait, I do have a two. Inappropriate content. I know you simply spam us all from the list you paid for, but seriously, I don't want a bigger penis. I am female, and if I ever have my own penis, I would need surgery, not something to make it more noticeable.