Fear

I have always found fear to be a good motivator. When I was little, fear of the spanking I would get kept me from misbehaving. In school, fear of the strap had a similar effect. I always avoided drugs and alcohol (to a lesser degree) out of fear that I would become an addict. I don't break laws because I am desperately afraid of jail and/or prison.

So fear works, for me.

One thing I have never feared is food. We have gone numerous rounds in the ring though, as I have struggled to get food under my control. Yesterday, I realized I have been approaching this the wrong way. Instead of trying to be the boss of food, I need to accept that I need to fear food, and avoid those foods that hurt me. It was a strange little epiphany to have. Why fight with something when you do not have to? Perhaps that seems strange, but for me, it is the truth. I will not fight with someone or something that wants to harm me, not when I can simply stay away from it.

This morning, I find myself looking at food in my home with new eyes. It is both uplifting, and terrifying. I have to switch from fight to flight mode, and anyone who knows me knows how hard it is to walk away from a fight I am firmly entrenched in. But I will do it. I will do it because fear works for me.