I discovered two things this evening.
1. Do not make eye contact with a screaming toddler. I think they feed off the look in your eyes. If you do not look them in the eye, they cannot suck the life out of you, like some BabyHo-Tep.
2. Mimicking toddlers irritates the snot out of them. If they have a runny nose, this can be a literal thing.
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