For most of us, talking about sex does not conjure images of watermelons, at least not immediately. I have one friend, however, who apparently thinks of sex, then immediately jumps to thinking about watermelons, and not in a good way.
This friend - let's call him Mike - has been suffering from insomnia. I let him know I knew of a cure for it, but the cure might kill him. Being the inquisitive fellow that he is, Mike asked me what that cure might be. I told him sex cures insomnia. Lots and lots of hot, sweaty sex. I even offered to help out with the cure, but that it might kill him. His ever-so-earnest response was that yesterday, he was "panting from carrying a watermelon 30 feet."
*blink blink blink*
Now, I do not like to sit in judgement over what people do with their produce, but equating sex with a woman to doing anything with a watermelon is just ... well ... wrong. To my dear friend "Mike" - you know who you are - it is okay to love your produce, just don't love your produce. Oh, and good luck with the insomnia. I think I will not sleep for a week, trying to get the image of you and your ... passion for fruit out of my head.
2 comments:
So much for changing names to protect the innocent. And it's not like I drilled a hole in the melon. Glad I could provide you with some blogging material.
If you had not said anything, no one would have known I didn't change the name, mister.
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