The Elusive Gamma Male

Alpha, Beta, Gamma ... no I am not reciting my Greek alphabet. I know, those are the first three letters of the Greek alphabet, but that is not what I am doing. Shut up for a moment, hold your questions, and let me get to it.

For years I have heard talk of Alpha males, that ever-so-dominant male, very attractive, at least on the surface. You know, the aggressive, take-charge asshole who speaks his mind, even when no one wants to listen. The guy who will trample a woman if he feels she needs it, yeah we all know THAT happy camper, right? Right! His counterpart was the Beta male, Mister Sensitivity, the ever-so sweet guy who would never think of insulting a woman or trampling on her delicate feelings.

Excuse me for a moment while I vomit.

I have become aware of the Gamma male, a third category of man. The Gamma male is an interesting mix of both the Alpha and the Beta male. He is adventurous, take-charge, exciting, yet incredibly sweet and sensitive with a soft spot for women, children, and small helpless animals.

Wait. I can hear you thinking, "Hey. That man does not even exist, what the FUCK are you talking about? Justice, you have lost your fucking mind."

HA! That is where you are wrong wrong wrong wrong WRONG! He does exist! I found a whole whackload of Gamma men, and while part of me does not want to share my treasure with you, I would feel badly if I didn't. This ideal man who is hard and soft, tough and tender, rugged and smooth, and any other oppositional pairings you can think of, is only a moment away.

Martin Riggs
William Wallace
Benjamin Martin
John McLean
Korben Dallas
Trey Kincaid
Randall Raines
Cameron Poe
Stanley Goodspeed
Sam Wheat
James Dalton
Johnny Castle
Rudy Baylor
Jason Bourne
A. J. Frost
Gray Granthom
Crash Davis
John Dunbar
Frank Farmer
Ethan Hunt
Jack Sparrow
Neo
Shane Falco
Jack Traven


Okay, I could keep going, but you get my drift. These elusive Gamma males do exist ... on screen. Run to your nearest video rental place, or rush to your online video store, and line these fellas up for your consumption. Because frankly, I think that is the only place a good balance between the Alpha and the Beta exists. If you try to find a real Gamma, I think you will end up in one hell of a mess. And before you start trying to argue with me, ask yourself this ...

Who wants a man who is a sensitive asshole, or an insensitive whimp?

I win.