Surreal Moment in Public

I finished work on Friday. Now to seven weeks off! YAY! After my final duties at work, I headed off to Wal Mart to pick up some stuff I needed. Yes, an exciting celebration indeed, I know. Primarily I needed a headlight replaced on my car. In my rush and fervor to leave work, however, I had forgotten to check facilities. So, while I was waiting for the car to be done, I wandered over to the washrooms.

As I was walking into the washroom, a woman driving a motorized chair pulled up almost directly in front of the door, preventing my access to the facilities until she got up and entered ahead of me. I followed her in, and I waited until she went into a stall before doing the logistics of which stall I would enter. (Note - I have issues with public washrooms, and the germs to be found there.)

Stall 1 was in use, she had gone into stall 2, stalls 3 and 4 were empty, and the handicapped stall at the end - stall 5 - was also occupied. I was going to head into stall 4, but the person in stall 5 was making some rather strange sounds, so I instead entered stall 3. What follows has to be one of the more surreal moments of my life.

No sooner had I begun to take care of business than the lady in stall 2 exclaims in a LOUD voice, "Oh! No toilet paper! Wouldn't you know it?" The person in stall 1 had exited their stall as I was entering mine, so I had a pretty good idea that I was going to be called to assist. Simultaneously, I was thinking of an episode of Seinfeld I saw once that centered around a very similar issue. I do not like Seinfeld, but thanks to my daughter, I have seen more episodes than I would care to remember. The show simply does not amuse me. Regardless, this stupid episode leaps into my memory. Right on cue, the woman in stall 2 calls out, "Do you have any toilet paper you could lend me?"

I wanted to make a smart ass comment about the lending/returning of toilet paper in a public washroom, but I was too creeped out by the idea. Just as I replied in the affirmative, the weirdo in stall 5 laughs this bizarre laugh and says, "This is like that episode of Seinfeld! 'I couldn't spare a square'!!!" Both women found this mighty amusing, and while I was providing paper to the one woman, I wondered to myself how funny they would find it if I simply said, "No," and left her there to air dry.

That thought had barely run through my mind before the woman said, "I would have to air dry!!" More laughter from the women in stalls 2 and 5. Personally, I was creeped out by this level of socializing with strangers while checking facilities. It was WAY too cozy for my liking. I decided to simply wait them out, since I was really not up for any further bonding with strangers in a washroom.

It was so freaking surreal.